Can’t stop, won’t stop in the windy city

Yeah, we know the term originated because the politicians are chatty. That doesn’t change the fact that there’s nothing more painful than a windy Chicago day. Really, there’s no avoiding it, because we only have so many “sick” days to use hiding from winter. Here are some tips for dealing, since we all can’t have that luxury.

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   A warm, furry tactic from the tundra

   Library of Congress/public domain

   If it works in the Arctic Tundra, it’s a good place to start for protection from a windy winter Chicago day. Fur (faux, please) hoods aren’t just fashionable, they’re practical. Good luck finding a faux fur hood as awesome as her’s, though. They just don’t make things like they used to. Pretend you’re a sled dog, well-equipped for the elements with your face hidden by warm, insulating fluff. Mind over matter, right? If you’re having trouble using brain power to defeat the cold, wrap a scarf around the front of your face, leaving just a slit for your eyes.

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   Umbrellas aren’t just for rain

   Duncan Rawlinson/Flickr

   Don’t wind up like this guy with your umbrella this winter. Block that frigid wind and sleet and snow from your face with a double-layer umbrella instead. When shopping, look for the style that doesn’t fold up and has air slits in the middle – it’s definitely worth the bulk. These umbrellas let the air flow through instead of warping and ruining the often-flimsy wires. Warning: Carrying an umbrella will slow you down and strengthen your arms in this town.

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   Help your friends help you

   Mary and Angus Hogg/geograph.org.uk

   Drafting isn’t just for the race track (or minor bouts of road rage). Allow your friends to lead the way and break the wind as you walk down the sidewalk. This is an especially useful tactic for the height- and width-challenged, who are less insulated anyway, so it’s only fair. If you don’t believe it works, offer to take a turn as the human wind-breaker. I’ll tell you one thing for sure – the geese in the middle of the flock are just chillin’ compared to those out front.